To the Left of Bill

A good liberal wouldn’t write this blog. But I’m not a good liberal. Conservatives (AKA, dumbasses), I am not siding with you either. I have found a happy medium on this subject. Here I’ve gone explaining myself without even telling you what I’m talking about. As you can guess from the blog title today’s topic  is Militant Feminism (sorry guys, I know Wednesday is all about songwriting but I had to get this off my chest. Maybe I’ll write a songwriting blog in the morning. Its 2AM right now).

I met a feminist. Feminism is great. Feminism is most certainly a good thing. But this feminist has taken it too far, and has taken it to heart. She turns everything you say into a slight against women.

Feminism is right to question gender stereotypes. I don’t think a feminist is crazy if she breaks gender stereotypes by not shaving her arm pits or her mustache. And let me make it clear, I am not making fun of feminism here. These things, albeit slightly gross, are part of feminism. I think women shouldn’t have to wear pink and other bright colors. They can wear flannel and work in steel mills and be CEOs and chop wood, play sports and go topless at the beach just like men. That last one does not fit into every feminists definition of feminism but its certainly one I would encourage.

Feminists are all about not being victimized. They hate the idea of women being victims and having to rely on men to rescue them as they do in so many movies, TV shows, and even fairy tales. See: Shrek, Rapunzel, aspects of Sarah Jessica Parker’s character on Sex in the City with Big, and the list goes on.

The feminist I met has taken these tenets to such an extreme that she has gone in a circle and ended up on the wrong side of the issue. I work with this woman. She is a bitch. Plain and simple. Yeah, I know, its not sensitive to feminists to call a woman a bitch. I guess its like calling a black person a nigger. But hey, guys are dicks and assholes, so why can’t a woman be a bitch? I think being called a female dog is better than being labelled as an ugly penis or an anus. But I digress.

This woman (who is constantly PMSing [LOL I keep on saying things that are so antifeminists, but I swear I'm all for it]) seems to end up as a victim every five minutes. While working in the kitchen at my job, people come through with heavy pieces of fryers and ovens that are very hot. Whenever a guy comes through at least one person always says “hot stuff, comin’ through!” and no one takes notice. When a woman comes through the same way the same phrase is spoken by at least one person. When Mrs. Feminist comes through and someone says that, she retorts “It figures you would say that to a female”. That makes me cringe. Fuck you, lady. Get over yourself. No one thinks she’s really “hot stuff”. In fact she is just the opposite. She’s hideous. And your a fuck if you try to say otherwise. If someone is ugly then they’re ugly - and if someone is REALLY ugly then they’re hideous. But back to this woman. She took that little quip so personally. The fact that she took it so personally doesn’t bother me as much the fact that when she asserts her feminism with these quips she says them in a manner that screams “I am educated and in a higher social class than you. You are uneducated white trash that is beneath me”. Someone so much better than the rest of us should be out there running the world, not sitting in a fast food joint unclogging a greasy drain. She needs to get over herself. I’m a smart guy, who has a bright future ahead of me. Once I finish with school I’ll be out there working a well paying job that I enjoy (people in IT tech and other programming type jobs, especially analysts, make pretty good money from what I’ve read). Even as it stands now I’m pretty accomplished. In fact I was just looking at my ACT scores today because I needed them to register for classes and I scored higher than 93% of those who took the test when I did - and thats nationwide. I went to Loyola ( and will be going back). I don’t say this because I want to make sure you know how awesome I am. I want to stress that I could go around with an attitude like hers but I don’t. When I talk to people I always treat them with respect so long as I get it in return. I see people my own age in there who have ended up working for this fast foot place as a career. I don’t think any less of them. These are people like me and everyone’s situation is different. We can’t all be brain surgeons. So why does this woman think she’s so great?

I saw her using a squeegee the wrong way and she was obviously having trouble. I went over to help her. I showed her  a better, more efficient way to get the water on the floor into the drain. Instead of being thankful she took it as an insult to women everywhere. She created a victim of herself. She took what I did as me saying “women can’t squeegee floors right, let a real man do it”. I wasn’t implying a women couldn’t do that job. I was certainly letting her know that SHE, as in this particular person regardless of gender, seemed to suck at what she was doing. I would have done the same to anyone. In fact I ended up correcting lots of people’s mistakes, mostly men’s by the way, because it just happens to be my job. But I’m not an ass about it. I just say something like “Hey, check this out. I’ll show you a faster/better/easier/whatever way to do this”.

Does feminism make you better than others? No. But I think this is a fad in her life. Kind of like how there’s those goth kids in high schools all over America. She wants to be a feminist and in her mind she is in an exclusive club that makes her better than anyone else. She has taken it upon herself to educate us imbeciles on how to treat feminists like her better than everyone else.

She has twisted feminism in the way some Evangelicals have twisted Christianity. When it comes to the other girls (I say girls because many are under 18) she doesn’t look out for them like a good feminist. She stares them down. She has an obvious distaste for them. Because they aren’t feminists like her they are lesser life forms. But rather than take it upon herself to talk to them, befriend them, and then lead them to gender equality in our workplace, she just stares down her nose at them because she wants to be the special one. She believes she is someone with special knowledge. The others can’t know what she knows because then she wouldn’t be better than the others. This is total perversion of feminism. Feminism should be brought to the masses. It should not be forced on them by any means. But the least she could do is let them know what she does. Explain what feminism is all about and tell them by what means feminists hope to gain gender equality. 

But she is not a feminist. No. No way. No how. If a real feminist saw her they would be disgusted. She is just a woman who was never popular in high school, has poor social interaction skills, and isn’t very attractive. She perverts feminism in an attempt to make herself feel good about herself. She’s a snotty bitch.

Feminism is a movement meant to advance the cause of gender equality. A good feminist talks to people with respect and educates them on how to be respected as an equal with men. It is definitely not about being better than other people because you are a part of a special club in your mind with secret knowledge only to be imparted upon the truly worthy. Feminism is a cause I support. Being a total bitch in the name of feminism is something I don’t support.

Fuck you, crazy bitch! How do you like that? I called you a bitch!