I’ve been on a break from politics these past few weeks but today I decided to turn on my local liberal talk station (WCPT 820AM, 99.9,92.5, and 92.7FM in Chicago) to see what was going on in the world. Well, because liberal talk is underfunded and primarily owned privately (which is a good thing I guess) WCPT can’t afford to stay on air all night so all I got to listen to was crappy techno music. Then I switched over to the stupid conservative talk station (I won’t give call letters or station numbers for this station because conservative radio doesn’t need anymore promotion and should die) and heard the bump for Sean Hannity. I think it was a bump. Basically, Sean signed off to go to a commercial and there was a voiceover guy who said, and I paraphrase, “He eats steaks, doesn’t recycle, and drives a big SUV - this is the Sean Fucktard Hannity Show…”. This was upsetting. Sean is encouraging people to be wasteful.
I know I don’t really have a strong point here but this bothered me. There is nothing wrong with driving an SUV in itself. What makes it wrong is:
- Doing it out of spite for liberals
- Doing it in an effort to consume
- Buying one when you don’t need it
I am by no means a tree hugging hippy. In fact I am a bad liberal when it comes to environmental issues. I litter, I eat nothing but meat, and I am wasteful in other ways too. I am aware of this, feel slightly bad for it, and although it isn’t often or enough I try to correct my actions when I can. Now Sean Hannity on the other hand can’t get off so easily. This man has a nationally syndicated radio show. He can’t go around encouraging his audience to destroy our already endangered planet. What’s worse is that his listeners are dumber than the average person. These are FOX News zombies that believe that because FOX’s tagline is “Fair and Balanced” that means its true. These people would start jumping off bridges if FOX or Hannity told them they were un-American if they didn’t.
So now we have all these conservative assholes out there saying (in a southern redneck accent and laughing) “Yee Haw! I’m a gonna go out and buy me a tank that gets 400 meters to three gallons and eat meat 5 times a day. I’m a gonna strap an engine to my bicycle too! I’m gonna buy junk just so I can throw it in the trash then I’m gonna stop putting my garbage out on the curb and drive my tank to the nearest open field full of wildflowers and dump a month’s worth of garbage on it because Sean Hannity is my god, liberals are pussies, Al Gore is my enemy, and I don’t believe in Global Warming”.
The truth is that Global Warming is not a matter of belief. These spin doctors on the right have framed it as such but Global Warming is not like a religious belief or a belief in fate or Ra, the sun god, or a belief in an afterlife, aliens, bigfoot, or the flying spaghetti monster. Saying you don’t believe in Global Warming is like saying you don’t believe in gravity. Sure, you don’t believe in it but you still won’t (unfortunately) fly off the face of the earth.
So one day when we have a thousand hurricanes in the hurricane off-season, New York is underwater (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing - I hate New York), the ghosts of Polar Bears haunt us, and we no longer have enough natural resources to sustain our lifestyles let alone our lives we can thank Sean Hannity. And on that day Hannity can drive to each and every one of our homes (if we still have one) and explain to us why Global Warming still isn’t real.